Wednesday, December 05, 2007

The Ugly Truths -or- The Crap You Don't Tell People

Right now, I'm supposed to be preparing the budget for our PTA meeting tonite. But instead, I'm catching up with you. If any of you are still out there. Please forgive the lack of posts and accept my apology in the form of some guilty confessions. You know, the ugly stuff we all hide so everyone thinks we're normal.

Lila spent three days in the same clothes. Not three days in the sense that she put pajamas on, went to bed, then woke up in the morning and chose to wear the same clothes again. She slept and lived in the same clothes for three days. She was actually quite proud of it. She came downstairs Monday morning and proclaimed loudly "Three days and two nights!". Eh, hate if you want. It was the weekend, we didn't go anywhere, and Monday was a snow day. The upside is that by Tuesday morning, those undies walked themselves to the hamper and hardly any of our clothes actually make it into the hamper.

Today was the only day the school store was open for first graders. Grade five is selling crappy toys and unusable erasers to raise money for their class trip. I pretended not to have any money on me today. The truth is, I had change in my pocket and I stopped at the convenience store on my way home and bought myself a HUGE Diet Pepsi. The guy in front of me was buying a 40 oz beer (or a fo'ty as he called it) at 8:45 am. He tucked it into his book bag and headed to the college for his morning class.

I haven't put the laundry away in a long time. My nice hubby keeps washing it, and I keep ignoring it. We're living out of laundry baskets. Lots of laundry baskets. They're perched rather precariously on top of each other in the my room. I'll get to it, eventually. Right now, I just keep grabbing my shirts off the bedroom floor and wearing them.

Violet got a hold of my self sticking stamps and plastered the house with them. She thought they were stickers. I got most of them back, some were too far gone. The other day, I needed a stamp and remembered there was one stuck to the trash can. I scraped it off with a knife and stuck it to my letter with double stick tape. You do what you gotta do.

Yesterday was picture re-take day. Lila's pictures were less than stellar. Her lip was curled in this weird grimace and her hair was all fuzzed up behind her. For $40, I expect them to smooth her hair down. I wrote a note to the photographer that said "All I'm looking for is a natural smile and less crazy hair." Who wants to place bets that they took offense at that and I'll get a nice 8x10 of Lila looking like a DMV shot?

Ok, what's your story? I know you've got them. Be honest - did your undies walk themselves to the hamper too?