Thursday, March 05, 2009

She gives channel surfing a whole new meaning

Life is such a comedy of errors. Those errors are typically only funny after the fact, but that really makes them richer.

Case in point: My husband works just down the road from our house. It's a 6 minute drive, sometimes less with no traffic. Tuesday night, I had to zip down the road to pick him up from work. Jasmine was home and upstairs watching t.v. so I left the girls with her. "I'll be right back." I told them all. As soon as I was out the door, Violet got her finger caught in a folding table. She starting screaming for help. Lila heard her from the bathroom and ran in to help ("I didn't even wipe!") As she came into the living room, she stepped on the TV remote and went sailing across the rug and crash landed on the floor. At this point both girls are screaming and crying, Lila's foot is in pain and Violet is still stuck in the table. Lila gets up, hobbles over and untangles Violet from the table, the whole time yelling for Jasmine. When she gets no response, she drags herself to the phone and calls my mom, who lives next door.

The full 6 minutes has elapsed. My husband and I have just returned. I open the front door and hear a mass chaos of crying. Violet shoves a bloody hand in my face and they are both near hysterics. I'm barely in the door when both my parents come running in. At this point I have: 2 screaming kids, 2 freaked out grandparents, 2 caught off guard parents, and one absent teenager. Darryl calls Jasmine downstairs while I take Violet in the kitchen for some first aid. I'm calming the girls down in the kitchen when Jasmine strolls in. "Did you yell for me? What's up?" The TV has sucked her in so hard, she didn't even notice what was happening down stairs.

Fast forward about a half hour. Violet is just fine and settled down but Lila has started crying again. Her foot is sore. I give her some ice to take to bed, but by 11pm she's up in serious pain. In the morning the doctor confirms what I already know - her foot is broken. 4 hours later we're home with crutches and a cast.

Fast forward to this morning. Lila stays home, Violet is headed to school. Her face is looking weird. It's red, blotchy,and hot. I stop into the school office to see the nurse. "Looks like Fifth disease." the school secretary tells me. "Wow, I guess I should take her home, huh?"
"Nope." she says. "She was contagious yesterday. Today, she's good to go!"

Fast forward to 10 minutes later. I'm apologizing to the parents and teachers. "If there's a pandemic in here, feel free to blame me." They're all very understanding, but silently cursing me out.

Life. It's very exciting.