Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Conversations with Violet

Early Saturday morning, I just woke up and was on my way to the bathroom-

Violet: Mama, can I do Arts and Craps?

Me: Not now Violey.

V: Awwww! Can I paint?

Me: Maybe later.

V: Awww! Dammit!

Later that morning when the TV was going fuzzy-

V: Dammit! Stupid TV! Dammit!

Me: Violet, don't say dammit and stupid. They're not friendly words. Say silly TV.

V: Dammit! Silly TV!

Me: Close....

Yesterday, after I stubbed and broke my toe-

V: Oooh! Mama you're toe is blue! That's so pretty. Can I have a purple toe? Can I paint my toe purple?

Also yesterday, when her nose would not stop running-

V: Dammit! Stupid nose is running!

Me: I'm sensing a pattern here...Violet, use this tissue.

V: No thanks. I have my shirt (lifts shirt tail and wipes face).

Me: At least it wasn't my shirt.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

When my husband and I got our oldest daughter, she was close to three and a half and still wearing diapers. Potty training her took a whole two days. She was so ready for it, it came as a relief to her (no pun intended) to get rid of the diapers.

With our second daughter, we had to start from scratch. Lila was about 18 months or so when I introduced the potty chair. She was very receptive. I kept the potty chair in the living room and put underwear on her. When Lila needed to go, she'd see the potty chair was close and go right in it. She was trained by 2 years old. Sure, there were accidents and the night time training took longer, but she has always been pretty easy to deal with.

Violet is proving to be a little trickier. She is now two and half and not ready yet. My previous little tricks and rewards don't seem to have much of an impression on her. She can't be bribed with a sticker, a candy, or much else really. Oh, she has a full understanding of the concept. She'll strip naked, head to the bathroom, and climb on the toilet whenever she wants to. The key here is - whenever she wants to. She is still very much in control of this subject right now. And that's ok with me. I'm not really going to push her. It seems that forcing the issue just creates phobias and I don't want that.

My problem is that Violet has this little issue. She likes to pee in things that are not necessarily her potty chair. Like the lid to board game, or a plastic cup from the kitchen set. Or most recently this morning, her sister's velvet lined treasure box. She is always very proud of herself afterwards and brings the offended object to me. "Look Mama! I peed!" Maybe I've been too encouraging. "Good girl!" I'll tell her "But we don't pee in empty crayon boxes, only the potty."

Honestly, I don't know what to do. This morning when she brought me her sister's velvet lined treasure box she told me she had a present for me. Thankfully, I saw the box was leaking out the bottom before she could set it in my lap. "What is this present?" I asked her while I held it at arms length so it wouldn't leak on my pants. I was pretty sure it was juice or possibly a stray soda.

"I peed!" she jumped up and down and clapped.

She is so gross.

I did put her in a time out while I cleaned up the leaky mess from my floor. Maybe she'll get the message this time. Maybe not. Until then, I wouldn't leave your drinks or hats unattended in my house.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Salty Language & Christmas Joy

Another christmas season brings yet another search for the coveted toy that no store carries. Last year it was the Dream Life game for Jasmine. She really wanted this video game and we really wanted to give it to her. So, of course, when we saw it several weeks before christmas we said "We'll have to make sure we come back and pick that up for her." Yeah, we're fucking idiots. The game sold out and was no where to be found. I started monitoring internet sites that sold it. I checked them two or three times a day to see if the game was in stock. One did finally pop up five days before christmas. The only way to guarantee a christmas delivery was to have it overnighted. My mom forked over her credit card and Jasmine had the game christmas morning - for three times what it sells for in stores right now.

Ah well. She was happy and my mom was happy to give it to her. The story ends well.

And it begins again. Violet is desperate for the Baby Alive doll. It's all she asks for when the subject of christmas is brought up. I'm fairly certain that Violet's interest in this doll stems from the fact the thing poops. I could fool myself into believing that she has some deep-seated mother instincts that really need an outlet to display, but I know the truth. The baby poops and Violet wants to be there when she does. She wants to hold her nose and scream "Ewwww!" and poke at the poop and make the baby do it all again. She's gross like that. But still, she wants it and I want her to have it.

The world, it seems, does not.

I can't find this freakin' doll anywhere. All the heavy hitters (Toys R Us, Target, Walmart) are out of stock. I checked some of the other toy sites out there and everyone is backordered until after Christmas. I did find a couple of Hispanic and African American ones out there, but she has her heart set on the blonde girl (yeah, yeah, take your racist rants elsewhere. She's two. I'll save the cultural equality lesson for the Fisher Price School Bus. There's a black kid and a handicapped kid on that ride). Of course we do have some options out there if we get desperate enough. Amazon.com has a few of the tow headed beauties. And in the spirit of Christmas they have jacked the price up to only $120. Generous to a fault, aren't they? And there's always Ebay where the really desperate are buying up the babies for just as much.

If I even think of spending that much someone needs to hit me over the head with a Tickle Me Elmo TMX.

**UPDATE** Walmart.com had a few in stock for $34.77! I ordered two - one for Violet & Lila. The order has yet to ship, and they are now back to being out of stock. Keep your fingers crossed for me, I'd like to come through this without resorting to drinking heavily.